Narrative

What am I looking for?

That’s a question I haven’t found an answer yet. Maybe an inkling, maybe someone with a sense of humor, someone intelligent, someone attractive - but I find that its the same thing over and over, the description most people provide are the same general guidelines from a handbook that hasn’t been written or maybe written in a magazines that should be mocked until the end of time.

Well the basics, down to business, I guess technology keeps it short and simple. It keeps us regulated into single words; it defines us because we let it, because it is easier than the alternative - facing ourselves; confused with a sense of loneliness.

So I guess, if I can’t really say what I want nor do I want to list the qualities of myself and physical descriptions (other than tall and thin, with a “fu¢k attitude,” and the tiredness of trying to fit any group or descriptions) of who I am. I mean how do you know someone until you actually talk to them, how can you tell someone from a posting, aren’t most either blatant lies or truth-stretching?

Nothing in order, but first I’m getting into antifolk music scene. I guess I always liked it, but I’m starting to appreciate it more. While I won't give specifics, another artist that I always liked was Bob Dylan, but I guess that’s an easy one. . It is also easy to name Radiohead and Velvet Underground. The other two bands I’m listening more and more are the Black Lips and the Arcade Fire. I find the relation of the lyrics meaningful, but at the same time it makes my feelings, which universal to a certain extent, destroys the individuality that I crave.

In the movie scene, I have tried to keep it into things aren’t so easily classified, something that offers complexity under its surface, something that makes you somewhat think long after the movie rolls ~fin~. I watched the Motorcycle Diaries and the Twilight Samurai and felt both offered something more than watching Police Academy I, which itself was a great movie and somehow blows away movies like Knocked Up. I found Rage in Placid Lake, an Australian movie by Ben Lee who happens to be a singer songwriter. It’s a movie I found after my explorations at the public library, movies from around the world chosen to be part of a label. Then there are movies by Wes Anderson that always leave me in a better place before them. And then there is Match Point, which I found the opera soundtrack as suiting as the movie itself. It was somewhat surprising, as I had gone to an famous opera a week before and didn’t care for it.

I’m writing way too much, but I guess that’s why I am not a fan of listings. I didn’t even get to converse about books and other interests, but than it will go longer than most people will read. I don’t blame them; I myself am a self diagnosed ADD’r. I watched Chumscrbber a few years ago and was kind of jealous that I was never prescribed any drugs so that we could have swapped drugs at school.

It really doesn’t matter if most people do not read past the first sentence, nor those who do not get an ounce of wanting to learn more about me after providing a little insight. It is not for them; it’s for you who read through it all and are more interested in the complexity making the human race. It’s for you, likely a complex person, to want to share your side. It’s for you wanting to have a conversation and whatever comes out of it - we can say we participated in meeting individuals unbound by the descriptions most people desire.

Its why, while I love the freedom and knowledge the internet provides and shoves, it also makes us computerized if we aren’t careful. In the name of search and efficiency, we keep it short, describing our physical traits thinking it alone creates the chemistry love requires.